My Heart "Grew Three Sizes That Day"

I was feeling very sad yesterday morning as I worked to put up the last of our Christmas decorations. Despite our best efforts, Michael will not be home for Christmas. I was heartbroken, bitter and depressed. Our son has already missed six Christmas’ with us. Do we really have to spend a seventh Christmas apart from each other? I wanted him to see the decorations and Christmas tree lights (which Jacob continually tries to blow out like birthday candles), taste homemade fudge, read Christmas picture books, and feel the excitement of Christmas morning when the children race down the stairs to see the magic that Santa Claus has carefully placed under the tree and in the stockings.

As reality completely sunk in that he would still be in the orphanage come December 25th, I could no longer see my decorations through my tears. I no longer felt like decorating. I decided that Christmas was a difficult time to be trying to adopt a child and it would be challenging to celebrate the season. I began to feel somewhat like the Grinch. It was at that time that the chorus of Handel’s Messiah began to play through my ipod speaker. “For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given.” Those lyrics hit me and they hit hard.

Christ and His infinite atonement was the greatest gift ever given. The Christmas season is the celebration of that gift…the gift of a child…a Son being “given.” As those lyrics from Handel pierced my soul I realized that Christmas is the PERFECT time to be anxiously awaiting the arrival of our son. And although he will not be here for Christmas Day, I know that we will have the rest of eternity with our son because Christ was born and given to all mankind. What better time to work towards bringing our son to our home than the time that we celebrate the birth of God’s perfect Son? So, like it is described in the Grinch who Stole Christmas when he heard “every Who down in Who-ville” singing…when I heard Handel’s Messiah, I had a complete change of heart and, in fact, “my heart grew three sizes that day.”

Merry Christmas, our sweet Michael. This is the last Christmas that you will spend away from us. We love you and are anxiously waiting for the day when you will be “given” to us.