Meeting Our Son

Adoption is not new to our family. Two beautiful children have come to our family through the special gift of adoption. With both of our previous adoptions we have worked and waited for over a year each time to finally be able to travel and meet our children for the first time. Michael’s adoption is different however. We have already met him. I have already looked deep into his eyes and I have touched my sweet son’s hand. The interesting thing is that at that time I did not know that it was the beginning of our eternity together.

When we traveled to China, in February of this year, to bring our Jacob home we were given the very rare and wonderful opportunity to visit his orphanage. While there, we asked if we could meet a precious little boy that we were made aware of during Jacob’s adoption. Due to the communication barrier and a series of unusual events, a different little boy was brought to meet us. We were told that this little boy had “taken care of Jacob” while they were in the orphanage together and the orphanage staff described him, “like Jacob’s big brother.” We had immense gratitude for this loving little boy. I got down on my knees to talk to him and for a long while we stared straight into each other’s eyes. As he stared deep into my eyes it seemed like he was trying to communicate something to me. I wasn’t sure what it was, but if I had to describe it, it was “confusion.” I know that is the emotion that I felt as I looked deep into his brown eyes. I have met many children in different orphanages and loved them all. However, something was very different with this little boy and I was “confused.” Our unspoken communication was interrupted by Jacob who came and grabbed his “big brother’s” hand and pulled him to the playground slide. After a few minutes of the boys playing together it was time for us to go our separate ways. As this beautiful boy walked away, he turned to wave us goodbye. My eyes filled with tears and I couldn’t speak. I wanted to tell him something, but I didn’t know what to say. I just knew that I would never forget how he looked as he waved us goodbye and walked away.

Our processing time in China continued and three weeks later we returned home with Jacob. Life was busy with the addition of Jacob but I found myself thinking of the sweet little boy that had cared for our son often. One of the things that bothered me the most was that I was still unsure of this little boy’s name. A month later, we were showing our children the videos that we took while we were in China. When the video of Jacob’s “big brother” was viewed, I said to my husband, “I think about him constantly” to which my husband began asking questions like, “how often?” and “what do you think when you think about him?” Our ensuing conversation quickly revealed that I was not the only one who thought often of this special boy.

We decided to send photos to the orphanage and to our adoption agency and see if we could find out exactly who this little boy was. We were quickly sent his information and file and were so relieved to finally know who Jacob’s “big brother” was. During this time we had talked with several parents of adult children with Down Syndrome and found a common thought. Our other children will all grow up and leave our home to start their own lives and families. Jacob, however, will always live with James and me. He will most likely not progress past the mental age of eight years old. He will want to play with his toy trains into his old age…and he will need a brother to do so with.

As with all life impacting decisions, James and I went to the Lord to ask what His will was for us. Our answer came and the adoption process to bring Michael home began. We are trying to be patient as we wait for all of the necessary paperwork to process but I constantly think of the day when I will be able to once again touch my sweet son’s hand and look into his beautiful brown eyes. This time I will understand my thoughts and feelings. As it will take a while for the two of us to communicate verbally, I hope that my eyes will convey my thoughts and feelings, “You are home my sweet son. You selflessly cared for your little brother and now it is your turn to be loved and cared for by your family. We have waited so long to be with you again. This time you will not be left. You are with your forever family and we love you with all our hearts.”